Swinging The Mood

This is your daily source of emotional prescription. If symptoms persist consult your boyfriend.

Thursday High

I was invited to a 42nd commencement Excercise today and it felt good. It would have been more exciting had my brothers been up on the stage. One of the many dreams I am aiming for. Man what a different kind of high it is to watch someone end his or her school days and step into the realm of adulthood, independence and head turning careers. I’ve had my fair share and I know exactly how it looked from inside my head with my young blood dreaming and what it felt like to have the freedom to reach for your dreams. Duc In Altum–Aim High.

Swinging The Mood

The human emotion has depths far more enigmatic than the oceans.

The beauty that sparkles under the moonlit waves will reveal secrets kept from the world outside

and will do so in its unexpected and surprising manner.

Just like the oceans we are never going to be sure just what might lie beneath the erratic waves of the human heart

until finally it reveals itself in its bold and animated declaration.

A mystery that is most likely never to unravel its true and honest answer.

Striking Distance

My goal was to hunt but I ended up being haunted instead. Day in and day out the nightmares revealed itself more grimly

than usual. Being away from each other served more like a curse to me than anyhting else. If I were in pain I could only imagine

the suffering my gentle warrior was in. How do I console him from across the miles? How do I fix the mess I have made?

He is strong that much I know, he always has been the stronger and sensible one but still it was unnecessary for him to go through such situations. I traveled with good intentions in my heart but I never thought it would hurt so much. There were good days and there were bad days. On a good day I’d be able to think of him happily and without tears rolling down my cheeks but on a bad day I’d cry myself to sleep again and again hoping to wake up with jess by my side and that it was all just a bad dream. I have never felt so strongly about him this way. We’ve had our fair share of being apart in the past but it was nothing like this. This was definitely the worst kind.

The pain was just too much. It was emotional torture was what it was. I wasn’t afraid of the things that they say could cost the both of us because I was away. They had no idea. The kind of man my gentle warrior is beyond compare. No one will ever be half the man that he is.

We had our love and no one can take that away. The rollercoaster was there because I just simply miss him and it was dragging me into a slow and painful death.

Getting By

Movies, Television, radio and online chatting with my jesse got me through one day at a time. If distance and emotions could kill

I’d be dead by now. My favorite thing that he does apart from all the other great things he selflessly does for me is cracking humor

amidst our troubled times. He always made sure I put on a smile on my face especially on my darkest hours. He taught me how to be strong even when I felt weak. He always told me that everything was going to be ok and I hold on to that still.

The Color of Envy

The nightmares never left but I managed to get by. The pain still pricks and stabs my heart but I’ll survive. It was odd though,

painfully odd, cruel even. One minute I was part of his life, we were so happy doing everything together and the next minute I was

nothing more than an onlooker, going through photographs of the events in his life. I was happy for him, for the things he has done with his life. Just seeing him happy gave me happinesss. But I couldn’t help but be envious too because I wasn’t there where I should be, with him.

Nirvana

I had so much emotion inside of me. I wouldn’t know where to begin. The happiness in my heart was beyond compare, a feeling I would very much want to hold on to for the rest of my days. It was friday and the day has come for us to be together once more. Inexplicable emotional outburst will surely be the usual guest amidst our long awaited moment.

Thinking Out Loud

I have never been happier than the moment I laid eyes on my gentle warrior as he walked on to the door towards me. As we held each other’s arms it felt so serene that I never wanted to let go. It was the most beautiful moment in my life. It felt so good that I wanted it to last forever. In the following days I had so much questions and stories I wanted to tell him. But then I started thinking out loud as well. It started with a tiny detail, it was nothing really until my observation made me feel weird, uncomfortable and angry. I’ve never felt like this before. I didn’t know what to say, how to say it let alone say something about it at all. Until finally, my raw emotions and honest observations got to me. I never pegged myself to be the jealous kind really until today. I was shocked as he was but I found myself going at him with my opinion and observations. It was statement after statement, one question after the next. My curiousity suddenly heightened, my emotions careened all over in an uncontrollable manner. What just happened? I wouldn’t know, how do I make it go away? I had no fucking clue.

Somehow I was glad I had had that conversation with him but my gut tells me differently. Maybe I shouldn’t have, maybe I was out of line…But what I do know is, my love for him is so deep that I would not hesitate to cross any line just to show him how much he means to me even when at times it will place him on the hot seat. But don’t worry my gentle warrior it’s not an everyday ordeal. I’ll only do it when I feel someone is stepping on my toe nails if you know what I mean.